Operation De-Clutter/Simplify Update

It has been several months since I determined to de-clutter/simplify parts of my life that held a "too much" air about them. I'll say it has been a bit of an addictive experience, but one that has left me feeling lighter and healthier.

One of the most freeing venues of de-clutter was that of social media/technology. Obviously, ending my relationship with Facebook freed up a lot of time in my mind, and I have seen a drastic increase in my creativity as it pertains to writing. I did not realize the extent to which I'd become "mindless" in this area. For the first few weeks, on the bus to work, I would pull out my phone and look for my Facebook app before I would remember it was no longer there. It had become a mindless habit for me. That is not to cast judgment on the millions of Facebook users, but for me, for my journey, I was looking for a more mindful way to be present in my life.

Along those same lines, I de-cluttered the enormous amount of daily emails with which I was bombarded. Sales on this site, money for that cause, I found myself deleting 20+ emails every day without even opening them. I went on an unsubscribing spree and now I receive 5 emails a day from sites that truly matter to me or that I enjoy reading. I find myself looking forward to opening my inbox now that I have de-cluttered.

Also, when I write, I close all websites and email accounts and simply...write. It has surprised me! I did not understand how distracted I'd become. I have written more in the last two months, than over the last year.

Lastly, with respect to our highly connected society, I have started turning my phone off when I am out for the day enjoying the city, or the beach, or the woods with my wife. If it were not for the simple fact of sometimes needing access to my Bible (a.k.a. Google Map), I would now be content to even leave it at home. (This is coming from a person who once said she would get an implanted phone when they became available.) As my wife says wisely, "if it is an emergency, they should call 9-1-1."

I love being able to stay connected with the people I care about, but I have enjoyed this re-evaluation of my life and my desire to stay connected with the present moment. In doing so, I can have the peace of mind and contentment that makes me a more healthy and happier soul for those people I care about. In the end, that is a beautiful feeling.

Peace to you!

***As is my life, this blog is a work in progress. My desire is to facilitate constructive, respectful conversations about life and our collective journey towards peace and happiness. This has become an obsession.

Please add “your two cents worth” below, and feel free to share this blog. The more the merrier! Understanding ourselves helps us understand others—bringing us one step closer to attaining peace.***

 

Writer's Holiday

At this very moment there is the gentlest of rains falling outside our third story window. A cool breeze flows through our tiny space.  It is refreshing after the week of nineties. I was telling Pop last week that our tiny space feels like a tree house in summer; (I've always wanted to live in a tree house) as I sit here now, it seems I am nestled into the tree outside that has grown taller than our three story building by several feet. I cannot see the street below and the squirrels run along the branches in a way that leaves me envious of their talent.

I've been on vacation. My mind is restful. Because we've both been so busy this year with [our beautiful] life, we decided to ditch our plans for a fly-there-book-here-see-this vacation. Seriously, millions of people consider our little corner of the world the destination of their dreams, so it stands to reason that staying home could be just as rewarding as going somewhere else.

It was a wise decision. We spent time on the beach, (my wife's first time to play in the ocean--she's hooked) we relaxed in Central Park reading under a tree, we lost ourselves at The Met amongst the masterpieces, and even shared a day with the Uncles--an all too rare treat for us.

I've written. I've written a lot. We deemed this our writer's holiday. Writing has possessed me. When I am not writing, I think about writing. I'm struck by two notions. The first, is that of the story. Everyone has a story--a unique journey that has brought them to this exact moment. If we spent less time focusing on our differences, we'd understand that many of our stories, although unique, are actually quite similar in nature. We're all trying to find ourselves and our place in the world. Our journeys are marked by triumphs and mistakes along the way. No matter what color the skin or into what culture we've been born, we need someone to listen to our story.

The second notion builds upon the first. In my writings I've noticed a theme. I look for ways to give readers a glimpse of another's story as a way of lessen the gaps that divide us as humanity. It's cliche, but we all bleed--if we look with understanding eyes, I am convinced that we can see ourselves in the souls of another, be that good or bad at times. I've said it many times before, we are in this thing called life together. That's just the way it is.

I've also seen another theme slightly different than the first but similar. This theme comes in the form of a challenge to do whatever is in your heart to do in this life. Life will always have its challenges, but true contentment lies within the few who grasp happiness and choose to go after what they want in life. As my wife says, find your happiness and peace and then you are more equipped to help others find theirs.

Peace to you in your journey, my friend.

 "Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question "What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?" Marcus Aurelius - Meditations 

 ***As is my life, this blog is a work in progress; my desire is to facilitate constructive and respectful conversations about life and our collective journey towards peace. This has become an obsession.

 Please add "your two cents worth" below, and feel free to share this blog. The more the merrier! 

Understanding ourselves helps us understand others; therefore bringing us one step closer to attaining peace.***

I think, therefore I write

I am a writer. I've always wanted to say that. I remember the first time I felt this overwhelming sense of pride in writing. I wrote a page (yes, just one page) for some school project called, "My Philosophy." I still have it tucked away in a random box somewhere. I was so proud of that piece.

Last year, I started a memoir. (which can be followed at leavinggodfindingme.blogspot.com) Actually, I started it two years prior, but then decided that I wasn't really a writer and deleted over fifty pages of work. I am sometimes a bit impulsive--to my detriment. Contrary to what you might believe from the title, it is not an effort to de-convert anyone. It doesn't matter to me what you believe. It is a desire, through the telling of my own journey, to encourage readers to explore life in all its facets and find their own place of peace. My journey led me out of religion and out of the closet, but many have found their peace in their chosen religions. This is cool. As long as we are actively pursuing being peace, I'll support you and cheer you on! 

I write because I have found my voice. I also discovered, while in college, that I was actually a decent writer. (Some may still argue that point, but such is life) I put off taking basic English classes because I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to pass. Whereas most people get ENG 101 & 102 out of the way during their first semesters, I waited until my fifth and sixth semesters! I have to laugh at myself sometimes. 

Being in New York has been an inspirational boost for my writing, and I am finding more and more ideas floating around in my head. Will I make millions? Probably not. (although I secretly dream of paying off student loans and buying a cottage in southern France) The important part is that I've found my voice, and I realized I have a story to tell. Yes, I found it much later in life than I would have liked to have found it, but that seems to be my modus operandi in life! The truth is that my voice and my story were already inside, I just had to discover them. So...what's your story?

The end; the beginning

Yesterday marked my last shift at the Bux I transferred in to from Kentucky. It was an odd day on many accounts. We were short one partner, so it made for a more chaotic shift than what I had anticipated, and at a certain point, I let frustration get the better of me. One of our retired regulars brought me a huge bouquet of flowers and wished me luck. For whatever reason, the events of the day sparked a memory.

A million years ago, when I first started working for the Bux, I spent much of my time as an opening shift supervisor. Yesterday, quite randomly, I remembered those early mornings and how I once felt. In the quietness of the morning, I would go outside and set up the umbrellas and tables for the day. At times, the early morning fog still hung in the air, and I still remember that crisp smell. I remembered that I once dreamed of opening a café outside the US, and I would think about this imagined café often as I opened the umbrellas and set each one purposefully in its place. I imagined how it would feel to open the umbrellas of my own café, presumably somewhere in France. I also imagined knowing many of the customers, in some random small village, by name and greeting them each morning. One of my main reasons for accepting the job at the Bux, way back when, was to learn the café industry in preparation for opening my own.

Yesterday, I realized that I'd forgotten. In the messy, corporate stench of this company (which was surely not the case way back when) I'd forgotten my love of the café experience. I'd forgotten what I love about coffee and a café is the connection--the human connection--that happens as souls come together in such a place. In the chaotic herding of people in and out, I'd forgotten my daydreams of those early mornings at The Summit.

I'm determined to regain this. Having worked at several locations, I don't know that this new one will be any different, but I can regain this feeling, this connection, within myself. I don't know if I'll ever own a café outside the US, and that's not really the point, but I can reconnect with the present moment while working here.

Because my life outside of work is filled with such happiness and peace, it has been easy to live for those times outside of the Bux, but I find myself challenged to take living in the present moment to my job, as well. I cannot simply practice living in the moment within those times that are already beautiful on their own accord--that's the easy part. I must also learn to rise above any on-the-job frustration, and find the beauty in those moments and connect with what is going on around me.

Although, I did not intend to be at the Bux for more than a few months after moving to New York, this is where I find myself today. And if I am honest, it has provided me the opportunity and the time I need to write, and for that, I must be truly grateful indeed.