Some Observations Thus Far

Don’t misjudge the depth of a snow-melting-puddle. Like life in general, some things aren't always how they appear. And as in life, you’ll sometimes find this out by stepping in boldly only to be met with that cold, soggy feeling of instant wet socks. The walk home will feel a bit longer, but the lesson will stay with you. We live, we learn, and in my case, we go home and change our socks.

You are often met with the same attitude you portray. During our semester in France, and in spite of the stereotype of those rude French, we were met with exactly one stereotypical rude being; as it turns out, he was from San Francisco! So there. New Yorkers, as with many other human sentient beings on this planet, most often respond accordingly to the way in which they are approached. Encountering others in a genuine, patient, and kind manner will do wonders for your personal adventures in human interactions. Try it and see. 

A huge space with an excessive amount of things is not needed for contentment. Of course we all know this, but these last few weeks have been a good reminder to me. With most of our things still in storage at the farm, (thank you mom and pop!) and with the realization that many of these things in storage are out-of-the-question-too-large for our new little flat, (as one customer calls it) we've been again reminded that life is about love, relationships, and moments. Full stop. Bare walls echo our laughter, and we are reminded of our peace, contentment, and gratitude.

If the beautiful snow ever ceases and decides to melt we will be out exploring more. (We've had one of the snowiest winters on record thus far!) For now, a lot of work, a lot of résumés, and a lot of settling into our new routines. My brilliant wife has her hands full with school and honors program. Tonight we are celebrating our birthdays with the Uncles over pool, beers, burgers, and laughter by all. Oh, and did I happen to mention that we are loving our new life here? Peace.

Fare thee well, Louisville

We are here! I am so excited to begin this new chapter with this Love I now call home! It seems that I have unknowingly underestimated the sheer enjoyment that comes from having someone in which to share life's adventures. My bad; I stand corrected. I must be the luckiest person in the world.
Wow. Having only planned to stay in Louisville for six months or so when I moved back in 1997, I'd say it was certainly time. Not being overly thrilled about the idea of moving back to Louisville (sorry!), I'll admit that it took me a bit to warm up to the place. I loved and missed my family and they were here, so that was my starting point. The next sixteen years were full of many events. Some expected, but many, many unexpected events along the way. Some were beautiful, some were heart-wrenching, and some were absolutely life-changing. I lost a job that I thought I'd keep forever (but this took me on a life-changing, magnificent soul search!), I saw two beautiful nephews begin life and add immeasurable joy to our family, and I found the Love I now call home, or rather she found me. I traveled often, and I (finally) received my degree, a life-long goal. I also found myself; oddly enough, I hadn't even realized that I was missing, but I most certainly was.

So, I'll hold Louisville as a special place, and I'm sincerely grateful to have met each and every one of you along the way. Yes, even those who have produced some of those heart-wrenching events! I could not have always said that, but I've come to see that every encounter taught me something about myself, life, love, kindness, and humanity in general, so for that, I am grateful.

I'd thought I'd leave you with a few parting suggestions as I go:

1. Relax in the moment. No, I really mean it. Just relax in the moment.
2. Get involved in an organization that is creating dialogue in the community. I suggest KFTC-Kentuckians for the Commonwealth, but if this isn't your cup of tea then find one that fits.
3. Go to WorldFest in the Fall. It is a wonderful display of this community's international beauty--I don't care if it's hot or rainy, go and show your support. I'll truly miss going.
4. Make an effort to get to know people--especially those who have different opinions/beliefs/lives/cultures from you. As Brown Pop always says, "It's not wrong, it's just different." We all have much more in common than we realize. (...and we'd all be better people if we followed Brown Pop's example.)
5. Read Thich Nhat Hanh's book, Good Citizens. 
6. Eat at Yaffa Cafe on 4th and Broadway. You can will most definitely thank me later.
7. Be kind. I believe it was Mother Teresea who said, "I prefer to make mistakes in kindness than to work miracles in unkindness."

Finally, find your peace. My peace and happiness might not suit you, but it is a most wonderful, joyous, fulfilled place to me. Be happy. Keep in touch. I'll miss you.

Identity

In one of my classes we've been discussing, among other things, identities. To some degree, our identity is always being stretched, pulled, redefined and challenged. That's just part of being in this thing called life. This discussion has caused me to think in terms of my life's journey and the twists, turns, ups, downs, tears and laughter that have brought me to this beautiful present moment. It has taken some time to come to terms with myself. Years actually. After I allowed myself to be at peace with me, it has taken me some time to come to terms with the fact that some people now see me in a somewhat tainted light. I knew it would happen, I warned myself to prepare for such a thought, but yet I was unprepared for how I'd feel. I harbor no ill will, but still I hope....

I remembered a piece I had written a few years ago. I'll post it below. Writing has played an integral role in my inner dialogue on the topic of identity. My journey of self-identity has also made me more deeply aware of the ways in which I form my opinions of others. I hope I'm becoming more loving. I hope I'm becoming more tolerant. I sincerely hope I'm becoming more compassionate. I hope we learn to cut ourselves and each other a little slack--or a lot of slack. Whether we live in New York, Louisville, London, or Beijing, we're all in this together. Really.

One Thing Among Many

(2011)

I like me; I won’t lie. I think I’m funny as hell. I love my sarcastic soul.

I get lost in music.

I love to laugh.

I've been drinking coffee since I was two.

I’m a fighter.

I’m loyal.

When my family or friends are attacked, a fury rises up within me; 

Do not pick on the ones I hold dear—they are my world.

My eyes are blue.

My hair is short.

I’m a lefty.

I keep a wall around my heart. Few get in. It takes time to truly get to know me.

Charlie Brown and Snoopy are the greatest.

I love the outdoors. Fresh air is good for the soul.

I love cigars and wine.

I love to talk—to anyone about anything. There’s so much we can learn from each other.

I’m a good listener.

I’m a nerd.

I believe that dreams do come true.

I love my life. It is this grand adventure full of highs and lows; 

it is my own journey that no one else can live.

I love learning from those who hold a different point of view than mine.

Peanut Butter & Jelly is the best sandwich ever invented.

I’m a book-lover; 

many hours past bedtime were spent with the moon as my nightlight.

I love to watch TV with my dad.

I have a temper and a two broken toes to prove it.

I play piano.

Some of my favorite childhood memories are of cutting wood with my dad and grandpa.

I love languages and cultures; dialogue is a beautiful art.

My dad is my hero. He has the kindest soul I have ever known.

I love tattoos.

My mom is my inspiration to go after what I want in this life: don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do.

I’m overly optimistic.

I love to travel. 

I am gay.