Operation De-Clutter/Simplify Update

It has been several months since I determined to de-clutter/simplify parts of my life that held a "too much" air about them. I'll say it has been a bit of an addictive experience, but one that has left me feeling lighter and healthier.

One of the most freeing venues of de-clutter was that of social media/technology. Obviously, ending my relationship with Facebook freed up a lot of time in my mind, and I have seen a drastic increase in my creativity as it pertains to writing. I did not realize the extent to which I'd become "mindless" in this area. For the first few weeks, on the bus to work, I would pull out my phone and look for my Facebook app before I would remember it was no longer there. It had become a mindless habit for me. That is not to cast judgment on the millions of Facebook users, but for me, for my journey, I was looking for a more mindful way to be present in my life.

Along those same lines, I de-cluttered the enormous amount of daily emails with which I was bombarded. Sales on this site, money for that cause, I found myself deleting 20+ emails every day without even opening them. I went on an unsubscribing spree and now I receive 5 emails a day from sites that truly matter to me or that I enjoy reading. I find myself looking forward to opening my inbox now that I have de-cluttered.

Also, when I write, I close all websites and email accounts and simply...write. It has surprised me! I did not understand how distracted I'd become. I have written more in the last two months, than over the last year.

Lastly, with respect to our highly connected society, I have started turning my phone off when I am out for the day enjoying the city, or the beach, or the woods with my wife. If it were not for the simple fact of sometimes needing access to my Bible (a.k.a. Google Map), I would now be content to even leave it at home. (This is coming from a person who once said she would get an implanted phone when they became available.) As my wife says wisely, "if it is an emergency, they should call 9-1-1."

I love being able to stay connected with the people I care about, but I have enjoyed this re-evaluation of my life and my desire to stay connected with the present moment. In doing so, I can have the peace of mind and contentment that makes me a more healthy and happier soul for those people I care about. In the end, that is a beautiful feeling.

Peace to you!

***As is my life, this blog is a work in progress. My desire is to facilitate constructive, respectful conversations about life and our collective journey towards peace and happiness. This has become an obsession.

Please add “your two cents worth” below, and feel free to share this blog. The more the merrier! Understanding ourselves helps us understand others—bringing us one step closer to attaining peace.***

 

Writer's Holiday

At this very moment there is the gentlest of rains falling outside our third story window. A cool breeze flows through our tiny space.  It is refreshing after the week of nineties. I was telling Pop last week that our tiny space feels like a tree house in summer; (I've always wanted to live in a tree house) as I sit here now, it seems I am nestled into the tree outside that has grown taller than our three story building by several feet. I cannot see the street below and the squirrels run along the branches in a way that leaves me envious of their talent.

I've been on vacation. My mind is restful. Because we've both been so busy this year with [our beautiful] life, we decided to ditch our plans for a fly-there-book-here-see-this vacation. Seriously, millions of people consider our little corner of the world the destination of their dreams, so it stands to reason that staying home could be just as rewarding as going somewhere else.

It was a wise decision. We spent time on the beach, (my wife's first time to play in the ocean--she's hooked) we relaxed in Central Park reading under a tree, we lost ourselves at The Met amongst the masterpieces, and even shared a day with the Uncles--an all too rare treat for us.

I've written. I've written a lot. We deemed this our writer's holiday. Writing has possessed me. When I am not writing, I think about writing. I'm struck by two notions. The first, is that of the story. Everyone has a story--a unique journey that has brought them to this exact moment. If we spent less time focusing on our differences, we'd understand that many of our stories, although unique, are actually quite similar in nature. We're all trying to find ourselves and our place in the world. Our journeys are marked by triumphs and mistakes along the way. No matter what color the skin or into what culture we've been born, we need someone to listen to our story.

The second notion builds upon the first. In my writings I've noticed a theme. I look for ways to give readers a glimpse of another's story as a way of lessen the gaps that divide us as humanity. It's cliche, but we all bleed--if we look with understanding eyes, I am convinced that we can see ourselves in the souls of another, be that good or bad at times. I've said it many times before, we are in this thing called life together. That's just the way it is.

I've also seen another theme slightly different than the first but similar. This theme comes in the form of a challenge to do whatever is in your heart to do in this life. Life will always have its challenges, but true contentment lies within the few who grasp happiness and choose to go after what they want in life. As my wife says, find your happiness and peace and then you are more equipped to help others find theirs.

Peace to you in your journey, my friend.

 "Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question "What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize?" Marcus Aurelius - Meditations 

 ***As is my life, this blog is a work in progress; my desire is to facilitate constructive and respectful conversations about life and our collective journey towards peace. This has become an obsession.

 Please add "your two cents worth" below, and feel free to share this blog. The more the merrier! 

Understanding ourselves helps us understand others; therefore bringing us one step closer to attaining peace.***

Front burner/Back burner

Hiya! Sorry to have been a bit distant lately; it truly not you, it's me. I've been concentrating on my short story writing. A blogger said recently, that short stories are a beautiful way to hone your writing craft, and I'd have to say that's been accurate so far. The nice thing about writing is that you learn as much from your shortcomings and weaknesses as you do your successes. The quickest way to become a better writer is to fail and fail often; short stories provide the opportunity to do just that.

I'm happy to say I think I'm making progress! I just won second place (romance) in a short story submission and I'm so excited. As I scanned the email announcing the winners, I was quite shocked to see my name and my story. I hadn't expected to win--I must be honest. It has boosted my commitment to writing stories, hence my absence here. 

Thanks to all who have encouraged me along the way! Here's a link to the story if you have a moment to read it. I'd love to know what you think. Peace to each and everyone of you, and please follow your dreams. 

Collecting Experiences

It was meant to be a surprise, but since she is the one I love sharing with the most, it only stayed a surprise for a week at most. That was all I could stand before I let the secret out.  A weekend away----hiking, nature, peaceful enjoyment.

Catching the sub to Grand Central, we ate a quick breakfast in the city before we headed north to Cold Spring on the 9:45 train. A new experience as well, our first time on the Metro North felt more like a 1950s adventure. It was a beautiful start to a perfect weekend.

The rain came down as we headed north, and I began to doubt my choice of weekend for a hiking adventure, but soon after we arrived and checked in early to our B&B (another first time experience for both of us) the sun popped out and off we headed towards the Washburn Trail in the Hudson Highlands. After 13 miles, 6 hours, and a most spectacular view from Mt. Taurus, we found ourselves back at the B&B for a quick shower followed by a relaxing dinner at a local restaurant. As we soaked up the atmosphere on Main Street from the outside patio, we recounted the amazing sights and wonders of the day, and we were both aware of how much we love our simple life and journey together.

This weekend was planned with a simple concept in mind: never become so busy that we fail to experience life along the way. On the way to work a few months ago, I realized we'd lived here well over a year, and since our move in 2013 we'd talked about going hiking north of the city. It struck me then. I do not ever want to get to the point in our lives where we are living for someday. 

This mindset goes hand-in-hand with our fervent attempt to minimalize our lives. I recently read that the mini-storage industry in the US is a $22 million dollar industry. Think about that. We have larger houses, but we rent storage units to keep all of the crap that won't fit. In general, our lives are bigger and fuller than ever before, but are we happier? More fulfilled? I wonder.

I never want to lose sight of this. Yes, we plan and save for future aspirations, but I do not intend to have our life consist of a list of wishes we never experienced because we was too busy, too in debt, too scared, too [fill in the blank]. Our someday is today, and our lives should be filled with experiences not stuff. Let's live our lives in a way that adds to the collective contentment of our society. 

Living Intentionally, part 2 -- Small Choices

Because this topic continues to stir inside, I decided to add on to Living Intentionally, with or without a cow, in hopes of continuing this discussion. My focus here is not upon massive life-altering decisions, but feel free to go live amongst the forest creatures if this will bring you peace! For me, I love a good hike or a quiet weekend in the woods, but I also love our tiny corner in this magical little city we call home. With that being said, I want to live as intentionally as possible and make choices that are best for humanity and the earth that so graciously houses us.

We continue to awaken and grow in this area, and it is gratifying to see some of the changes from the me of ten years ago. Some I find comical and shake my head at myself and think, what were you thinking? This is all part of the awakening process, and hopefully, we will never stop growing, awakening, and becoming more intentional in the decisions we make.

As we have recently been downsizing our amount of clothing, and keeping only those things we really love, I remembered a comically horrid habit I used to have. (I might as well laugh at this one and be grateful I don't do this any longer) On many occasions, I would stay out with friends for an entire evening/night and simply go buy a new outfit for the next day's work. This would usually never be an outfit that I loved, but it would get me by until I went home on the following day. I can remember doing this sometimes two days in a row! My closet was full of clothes I would wear only once! Insane to think about, but yes, I did this. Now, as I have purposefully downsized my clothing selection to 35 pieces of clothing, (excluding my uniform, 2 coats, pajamas, and underwear) I just have to shake my head and laugh at the irresponsibility of this former, and might I add lazy, self. (Why 35 you ask? I was going for 33, but I cannot part with anything else at the moment.)

We also try to get the most use out of everything. Our home is not without any plastic, but when we must buy plastic, we reuse as much as possible, and recycle. Again, we've not gone extreme and built a couch and shelving unit out of plastic sandwich bags and wine bottles, but we try to purposefully and responsibly use the items we buy. Along this same line, we've switched to using cloth napkins. (My father will be proud; he loves cloth napkins) A simple decision, but I hope to save at least one tree in the process. 

I've just discovered that our bathroom has plenty light for showering without turning on the light! Apparently, I'm slow on the uptake sometimes. We have a nice size bathroom window and there is really no need to turn on the light while showering during the day. Again, this might sound like a silly choice, but when we put minutes/hours to this choice: 5 minute shower/30 days/12 months = 2.5 hours per month...30 hours per year of electricity. Okay, so by doing this simple choice, I've saved 30 hours of electricity per year, now you see the potential if millions made this simple change. (Please don't try this while shaving if you do not have adequate sunlight! I will not be held responsible.)

Lastly, (for today!) I've thought about the way I've changed my eating habits. In an article I read recently, the author points out that more than seventy percent of grain harvested in the world goes to feed livestock for the meat industry. (Read that last sentence again...think of world hunger) We have not (yet) gone completely vegetarian or vegan, but we are extremely close, the wife closer than I am I think. (Admittedly, I still love a good burger when we meet the uncles for pool in Astoria!) Compared to ten years ago, my habits in this area have completely changed; I ate meat almost every meal. Because I was so busy, many of these meals were eaten out, on the go, and with no real thought of this consequences of such decisions. Now, if we eat meat at all, it is at most once a month--a drastic change in attitude and habit. Also, the fact that we eat out less often than I once did, has saved us a bundle. For example, even tonight, we'd thought about going out for Indian food, but I've decided to cook here instead. I enjoy the experience of cooking new dishes, and we save a bundle of money that will be better used elsewhere. 

If you are interested in shaking your life up a bit, read the articles to which I've linked throughout this blog. At the very least, look at the small decisions in your life; are there areas you can change? I know there are many other areas in our daily existence that will change in the future. Let me hear about your ideas; dialogue about such issues are essential for seeing blind spots in our own lives. And please, if you decide to move to the woods, send me your address, or at least your GPS coordinates, we'll be sure and come visit in the near future. From our tiny corner, peace to you.

*Add your ideas or thoughts below, and feel free to share this blog with others. The more the merrier.

Living intentionally, with or without a cow

I’ve been struck by a notion. Actually, it is a process I’ve seen slowly arriving in my life.  I think both of us began this process separately even before we met, but now it is exciting to be taking this journey together. In my own life I’ve started calling it living intentionally. (I thought, for a few seconds, that I’d come up with that phrase on my own, but a quick Google search dashed these hopes.) This intentionality didn't come easily in all areas, and I still have room for growth and inspiration, but it has brought about  a life with fewer distractions and a deeper contentment.

Minimalism, downsizing, living off the grid, homesteading, tiny homes, sustainable living…all of these are huge buzz words right now. There’s a lot of information out there, but in one way or another, these outward expressions are simply manifestations of inward journeys. Many people, and I hope many more, are awakening to the fact that stuff does not equal happiness. Most of us know this in theory, but it is just so easy to buy into the culture of more. Sure, some will inevitably jump on the bandwagon just because fads are fads and people are people, but the lasting effects for those who continue this dance with living intentionally will be tremendous.

Some might say, “living without is not for me!” but that misses the point a bit. It’s not about depriving ourselves of stuff just for the sake of deprivation alone. That’s silly. It is about seeing the areas in which things and cultural expectations hold our strings as if we are puppets. It’s about asking who’s playing the music to which we’re dancing. It’s about living with awareness—living intentionally. 

Living intentionally doesn’t have to mean a hand-carved cabin, deep in the woods, with no electricity, using a compostable toilet, and milking your own cow. This way of life is heaven to some, but although I want to simplify my life, I’m pretty sure that we’ll not be going all pioneer homesteader in the near future. (Of course, we don’t drink milk, so the cow would be useless, but let it be written and known that I can milk and have milked cows in my lifetime.)

So I find myself asking, how can I live more intentionally today?

1. Be present. Yes, you know I couldn’t make this post without a Buddhism reference. At times, simply being present takes an intentionality like no other! Intentionally staying put in a moment that might seem uncomfortable, intentionally choosing gratitude especially when it is not the first thing that comes to mind, intentionally soaking in a moment of laughter and joy, these are all ways in which we become more mindful of this life and the universe around us.   

2 Make intentional, conscientious decisions. These can be large or small. Upon moving to New York, we chose to sell our car and commit to public transportation because it was important to us to reduce our part of the pollution in this world. That’s a pretty big deal and it is one of which I am proud, but I also try to focus on the small things, as well. We’ve made decisions to reduce excess—excess clothing, furniture, utensils, etc. There are many methods of doing this if you are interested. It’s also about every day type of things. When I sit down to eat breakfast and realize I’ve left the kitchen light on, I must make an intentional decision to get my lazy self up, walk all the way over there, and turn it off. Of course, I could tell myself, “I’ll just turn it off when I’m finished,” but to me, this is putting my personal convenience above the global good, if you will.

3. Intentionally add to collective peace and goodness. Let’s face it, there seems to be an ample supply of collective hate, unrest, and discord in our world. In my mind, it works as such: My individual acts of kindness, non-aggression, and patience may not appear to make much of a difference, but like coins in a jar, they add up. Several years ago, I decided to stop spending coins and save them. If something cost $4.01, I would break a five and throw the change in a jar at home. I kept this up for about three years. When an opportunity to spend a few weeks in England arose, I decided to reward my efforts and use my spare change, which I had not missed, and put some extra spending money in my pocket. When all the rolling and counting was finished, I was shocked and wonderfully surprised to find more than a little spending money! With change, I paid for the entire ticket to London and back! Those small, purposeful acts of kindness are similar—they add up to more than we can ever imagine, and we end up wonderfully surprised. Unfortunately, it seems this works for the negative as well, so diligence to peaceful ways is all the more important.

4. Choose to be intentionally me. This has been an essential key to my personally journey. When I became brave enough  tired enough ready to look inside and admit that I was not living true to myself, I had an intentional decision to make. Believe me when I tell you, there were times when I almost wished I could unsee that which I’d become aware. Sure, I was scared at times, too. But in those hours of contemplation, I knew that I couldn’t go back to the way things were and be happy. Going back would mean a commitment to an internal turmoil that I was not willing to make. When I choose to be true to myself, I also allow others to be true to themselves without judgments. I did not know how the future would turn out, but I knew I must chance it. Lucky for me, this intentional choice transformed into a beautiful life; had I not made a choice to go forward, life would have become quite unbearable and complicated.

Everyone has their own journey to walk and we are all looking to find that sweet spot in life. Whether you find your spot in homesteading and milking your own cow, downsizing, or simply making wiser—more mindful—decisions in this life, live intentionally, on purpose, with awareness. Start with being true to yourself and then take it from there. Peace to you in your journey.

A New Missing

Miami. As I sit here, I am becoming acutely aware of two things. I drastically miss my wife, and I am
a bit homesick for New York.

The first came as no surprise. I braced myself for it. She is the love I now call home, and I miss her every day while we simply go about our daily lives. The most perfect time of my day is when I see her again, whether it has been two hours or, because of our different schedules, eighteen. 

The second was a bit of a surprise. Not because I don't love living in New York, but because it hadn't dawned on me that I would actually miss it. You see, I've never lived in a place that I could say I actually miss when I'm away. I've missed people, my family and friends, but never really a place. (Although I miss France, but in a different way. And besides, I think I might have just been born with that condition!)

When I arrived on Sunday, I uber-ed myself over to South Beach. (My first uber experience, by the way, and I am a fan.) The ocean has a way of refreshing my soul, and it felt so wonderful to sink my toes in the sand. I stood on the edge of the water, letting each wave cover my ankles as I closed my eyes and just listened to the sounds of the universe. Afterwards, I walked along Lincoln Road, whiffed more than a few waves of second-hand marijuana, and took in the sights. Realizing I hadn't eaten since breakfast, I started searching. Two blocks up, I was greeted with a familiar sight of home. Shake Shack. The feeling that accompanied this sighting was the first realization of my homesickness. Of course, I had to go. 

As I sat drinking a cold Brooklyn brew and enjoying one of the best hamburgers I think I've had in my life, I smiled realizing my thoughts were in New York not Miami. I thought of the bench in Washington Square Park where I love to sit and read. It is just far enough away to silence the drummers who play on the south-side of the fountain, but close enough to the arch that I can still hear the grand-piano-man playing while I read.

I thought of the Highline and how it winds through the east side of the city above the streets. As with the rest of the city, each season transforms this walk into a fresh new wonder. Canal Street came to mind and the vendors that sell strange Chinese fruits that look like objects out of a child's imagination.

New York's unique sights and sounds have quickly become familiar and comforting to me, but they still hold such wonder and mystery. I'm hooked. It is a thrill to call it home. Many say that one must live in New York for years before they truly become a New Yorker, but I don't know if I agree. Once the city gets inside of you, no place else has the same effect.

One belongs to New York instantly.

One belongs to it as much in five minutes

as in five years. ~ Tom Wolfe