Living Intentionally, part 2 -- Small Choices

Because this topic continues to stir inside, I decided to add on to Living Intentionally, with or without a cow, in hopes of continuing this discussion. My focus here is not upon massive life-altering decisions, but feel free to go live amongst the forest creatures if this will bring you peace! For me, I love a good hike or a quiet weekend in the woods, but I also love our tiny corner in this magical little city we call home. With that being said, I want to live as intentionally as possible and make choices that are best for humanity and the earth that so graciously houses us.

We continue to awaken and grow in this area, and it is gratifying to see some of the changes from the me of ten years ago. Some I find comical and shake my head at myself and think, what were you thinking? This is all part of the awakening process, and hopefully, we will never stop growing, awakening, and becoming more intentional in the decisions we make.

As we have recently been downsizing our amount of clothing, and keeping only those things we really love, I remembered a comically horrid habit I used to have. (I might as well laugh at this one and be grateful I don't do this any longer) On many occasions, I would stay out with friends for an entire evening/night and simply go buy a new outfit for the next day's work. This would usually never be an outfit that I loved, but it would get me by until I went home on the following day. I can remember doing this sometimes two days in a row! My closet was full of clothes I would wear only once! Insane to think about, but yes, I did this. Now, as I have purposefully downsized my clothing selection to 35 pieces of clothing, (excluding my uniform, 2 coats, pajamas, and underwear) I just have to shake my head and laugh at the irresponsibility of this former, and might I add lazy, self. (Why 35 you ask? I was going for 33, but I cannot part with anything else at the moment.)

We also try to get the most use out of everything. Our home is not without any plastic, but when we must buy plastic, we reuse as much as possible, and recycle. Again, we've not gone extreme and built a couch and shelving unit out of plastic sandwich bags and wine bottles, but we try to purposefully and responsibly use the items we buy. Along this same line, we've switched to using cloth napkins. (My father will be proud; he loves cloth napkins) A simple decision, but I hope to save at least one tree in the process. 

I've just discovered that our bathroom has plenty light for showering without turning on the light! Apparently, I'm slow on the uptake sometimes. We have a nice size bathroom window and there is really no need to turn on the light while showering during the day. Again, this might sound like a silly choice, but when we put minutes/hours to this choice: 5 minute shower/30 days/12 months = 2.5 hours per month...30 hours per year of electricity. Okay, so by doing this simple choice, I've saved 30 hours of electricity per year, now you see the potential if millions made this simple change. (Please don't try this while shaving if you do not have adequate sunlight! I will not be held responsible.)

Lastly, (for today!) I've thought about the way I've changed my eating habits. In an article I read recently, the author points out that more than seventy percent of grain harvested in the world goes to feed livestock for the meat industry. (Read that last sentence again...think of world hunger) We have not (yet) gone completely vegetarian or vegan, but we are extremely close, the wife closer than I am I think. (Admittedly, I still love a good burger when we meet the uncles for pool in Astoria!) Compared to ten years ago, my habits in this area have completely changed; I ate meat almost every meal. Because I was so busy, many of these meals were eaten out, on the go, and with no real thought of this consequences of such decisions. Now, if we eat meat at all, it is at most once a month--a drastic change in attitude and habit. Also, the fact that we eat out less often than I once did, has saved us a bundle. For example, even tonight, we'd thought about going out for Indian food, but I've decided to cook here instead. I enjoy the experience of cooking new dishes, and we save a bundle of money that will be better used elsewhere. 

If you are interested in shaking your life up a bit, read the articles to which I've linked throughout this blog. At the very least, look at the small decisions in your life; are there areas you can change? I know there are many other areas in our daily existence that will change in the future. Let me hear about your ideas; dialogue about such issues are essential for seeing blind spots in our own lives. And please, if you decide to move to the woods, send me your address, or at least your GPS coordinates, we'll be sure and come visit in the near future. From our tiny corner, peace to you.

*Add your ideas or thoughts below, and feel free to share this blog with others. The more the merrier.

Living intentionally, with or without a cow

I’ve been struck by a notion. Actually, it is a process I’ve seen slowly arriving in my life.  I think both of us began this process separately even before we met, but now it is exciting to be taking this journey together. In my own life I’ve started calling it living intentionally. (I thought, for a few seconds, that I’d come up with that phrase on my own, but a quick Google search dashed these hopes.) This intentionality didn't come easily in all areas, and I still have room for growth and inspiration, but it has brought about  a life with fewer distractions and a deeper contentment.

Minimalism, downsizing, living off the grid, homesteading, tiny homes, sustainable living…all of these are huge buzz words right now. There’s a lot of information out there, but in one way or another, these outward expressions are simply manifestations of inward journeys. Many people, and I hope many more, are awakening to the fact that stuff does not equal happiness. Most of us know this in theory, but it is just so easy to buy into the culture of more. Sure, some will inevitably jump on the bandwagon just because fads are fads and people are people, but the lasting effects for those who continue this dance with living intentionally will be tremendous.

Some might say, “living without is not for me!” but that misses the point a bit. It’s not about depriving ourselves of stuff just for the sake of deprivation alone. That’s silly. It is about seeing the areas in which things and cultural expectations hold our strings as if we are puppets. It’s about asking who’s playing the music to which we’re dancing. It’s about living with awareness—living intentionally. 

Living intentionally doesn’t have to mean a hand-carved cabin, deep in the woods, with no electricity, using a compostable toilet, and milking your own cow. This way of life is heaven to some, but although I want to simplify my life, I’m pretty sure that we’ll not be going all pioneer homesteader in the near future. (Of course, we don’t drink milk, so the cow would be useless, but let it be written and known that I can milk and have milked cows in my lifetime.)

So I find myself asking, how can I live more intentionally today?

1. Be present. Yes, you know I couldn’t make this post without a Buddhism reference. At times, simply being present takes an intentionality like no other! Intentionally staying put in a moment that might seem uncomfortable, intentionally choosing gratitude especially when it is not the first thing that comes to mind, intentionally soaking in a moment of laughter and joy, these are all ways in which we become more mindful of this life and the universe around us.   

2 Make intentional, conscientious decisions. These can be large or small. Upon moving to New York, we chose to sell our car and commit to public transportation because it was important to us to reduce our part of the pollution in this world. That’s a pretty big deal and it is one of which I am proud, but I also try to focus on the small things, as well. We’ve made decisions to reduce excess—excess clothing, furniture, utensils, etc. There are many methods of doing this if you are interested. It’s also about every day type of things. When I sit down to eat breakfast and realize I’ve left the kitchen light on, I must make an intentional decision to get my lazy self up, walk all the way over there, and turn it off. Of course, I could tell myself, “I’ll just turn it off when I’m finished,” but to me, this is putting my personal convenience above the global good, if you will.

3. Intentionally add to collective peace and goodness. Let’s face it, there seems to be an ample supply of collective hate, unrest, and discord in our world. In my mind, it works as such: My individual acts of kindness, non-aggression, and patience may not appear to make much of a difference, but like coins in a jar, they add up. Several years ago, I decided to stop spending coins and save them. If something cost $4.01, I would break a five and throw the change in a jar at home. I kept this up for about three years. When an opportunity to spend a few weeks in England arose, I decided to reward my efforts and use my spare change, which I had not missed, and put some extra spending money in my pocket. When all the rolling and counting was finished, I was shocked and wonderfully surprised to find more than a little spending money! With change, I paid for the entire ticket to London and back! Those small, purposeful acts of kindness are similar—they add up to more than we can ever imagine, and we end up wonderfully surprised. Unfortunately, it seems this works for the negative as well, so diligence to peaceful ways is all the more important.

4. Choose to be intentionally me. This has been an essential key to my personally journey. When I became brave enough  tired enough ready to look inside and admit that I was not living true to myself, I had an intentional decision to make. Believe me when I tell you, there were times when I almost wished I could unsee that which I’d become aware. Sure, I was scared at times, too. But in those hours of contemplation, I knew that I couldn’t go back to the way things were and be happy. Going back would mean a commitment to an internal turmoil that I was not willing to make. When I choose to be true to myself, I also allow others to be true to themselves without judgments. I did not know how the future would turn out, but I knew I must chance it. Lucky for me, this intentional choice transformed into a beautiful life; had I not made a choice to go forward, life would have become quite unbearable and complicated.

Everyone has their own journey to walk and we are all looking to find that sweet spot in life. Whether you find your spot in homesteading and milking your own cow, downsizing, or simply making wiser—more mindful—decisions in this life, live intentionally, on purpose, with awareness. Start with being true to yourself and then take it from there. Peace to you in your journey.

A New Missing

Miami. As I sit here, I am becoming acutely aware of two things. I drastically miss my wife, and I am
a bit homesick for New York.

The first came as no surprise. I braced myself for it. She is the love I now call home, and I miss her every day while we simply go about our daily lives. The most perfect time of my day is when I see her again, whether it has been two hours or, because of our different schedules, eighteen. 

The second was a bit of a surprise. Not because I don't love living in New York, but because it hadn't dawned on me that I would actually miss it. You see, I've never lived in a place that I could say I actually miss when I'm away. I've missed people, my family and friends, but never really a place. (Although I miss France, but in a different way. And besides, I think I might have just been born with that condition!)

When I arrived on Sunday, I uber-ed myself over to South Beach. (My first uber experience, by the way, and I am a fan.) The ocean has a way of refreshing my soul, and it felt so wonderful to sink my toes in the sand. I stood on the edge of the water, letting each wave cover my ankles as I closed my eyes and just listened to the sounds of the universe. Afterwards, I walked along Lincoln Road, whiffed more than a few waves of second-hand marijuana, and took in the sights. Realizing I hadn't eaten since breakfast, I started searching. Two blocks up, I was greeted with a familiar sight of home. Shake Shack. The feeling that accompanied this sighting was the first realization of my homesickness. Of course, I had to go. 

As I sat drinking a cold Brooklyn brew and enjoying one of the best hamburgers I think I've had in my life, I smiled realizing my thoughts were in New York not Miami. I thought of the bench in Washington Square Park where I love to sit and read. It is just far enough away to silence the drummers who play on the south-side of the fountain, but close enough to the arch that I can still hear the grand-piano-man playing while I read.

I thought of the Highline and how it winds through the east side of the city above the streets. As with the rest of the city, each season transforms this walk into a fresh new wonder. Canal Street came to mind and the vendors that sell strange Chinese fruits that look like objects out of a child's imagination.

New York's unique sights and sounds have quickly become familiar and comforting to me, but they still hold such wonder and mystery. I'm hooked. It is a thrill to call it home. Many say that one must live in New York for years before they truly become a New Yorker, but I don't know if I agree. Once the city gets inside of you, no place else has the same effect.

One belongs to New York instantly.

One belongs to it as much in five minutes

as in five years. ~ Tom Wolfe