Johnny the Charmer

The sign reads: best food in the city - you be the judge. Today was the day. The wifey needed an afternoon break from a final exam essay, so off we went just around the corner from our tiny space to meet one of our eight million neighbors--Johnny the Charmer, as we now know. 

The smell alone is enough to beckon anyone with a nose, but the cheerful, bearded guy inside the food cart--the one who always yells out hello and gives a big wave--is a charmer indeed. As he made our falafel and rice (which was truly delicious) he gave us his philosophy on life at no charge. (but the secret ingredient in his rice stayed a secret)

His philosophy: Good food makes all the difference. If you are having a bad day, but you eat good food, it will make your day better. Good food gives you a certain kind of glow and makes you happy. If it is cold day, and you eat good food, you'll feel warmer. Likewise, if it is an extremely hot day, and you eat good food, the day seems cooler and more enjoyable. The world is happier when good food is involved.

It was a beautiful, peaceful day in our little corner of the world, so I can't fault his philosophy there!

If we all sent out as much cheerful energy as Johnny the Charmer....

Let it be so. Peace.

A Kiss and a Prayer (I am Michael Sam)

There's a Facebook thing going around that shows Michael Sam kissing his boyfriend after being drafted into the NFL and Tim Tebow kneeling in prayer. The post readsYou know America is in trouble when we celebrate this (the kiss) and mock this (the prayer). I can't adequately describe how much this has bothered me since seeing it, so much so, that I woke up thinking about it several times throughout the night. I don't even know that I can adequately articulate all that bothers me about this post and why it saddens and disappoints me so deeply. I am also unsure, if you truly stand behind the sentiment of this post, that there is anything that I can say that would help you see life from any different perspective than your own. 

First, if you truly believe that I am the reason that America is in trouble, then...I'm not sure I know what to say. Now you may say that you don't mean this as a personal slam to me, but, you see, I am Michael Sam, my wife is Michael Sam, and what you don't realize is that YOU are Michael Sam as well. Everyone one of us desires the freedom to live, love, and pursue a happy and peaceful life. We are all more alike than we are different, and we do not have the right to dictate how others' peaceful life should look. I didn't always realize this, and sadly, I've heaped a lot of judgments due to my lack of understanding and personal insecurities.

Second, yeah, it hurts. Okay, I said it. I personally think the kiss has taken on a life of its own and has distracted from Sam's actually talent, but I also see the significance of the first openly gay man drafted into the NFL and his open, and I might add beautiful, celebration of such. In many situations, we can, and do, still lose jobs because of who we are and who we love. It has taken me an extremely long time to be at peace with the fact that I am gay, and I intend to work towards a peaceful society that allows everyone to be who they are. This includes Tim Tebow and this includes you.

I don't endorse the mockery of Tebow. I wouldn't even know Tim Tebow if he knocked on my door today, but he has the right to believe how he chooses. It is all too easy to jab at the expression of personal beliefs instead of true dialogue about concerns and differences. I have been guilty of this, and I am trying to rise above such playground tactics as bullying those who are not like me. Be clear also, that Tim Tebow has the long-held freedom to express his religious beliefs, whereas Michael Sam has not always held the freedom to express who he is, not just his beliefs. So it is in this progress of freedom that we celebrate, not simply a same-sex kiss. (And in the name of logic, a huge portion of lgbtq that I know personally would celebrate both the kiss and the knee knelt in prayer!)

I will agree that we have some big troubles here in our nation, but my pursuit of a peaceful life with my wife is not one of them. Perhaps our troubles can be found in the the fact that corrupt money controls our politics, or that NFL players make so more than teachers, or that our prisons are for-profit while children on our soil go to bed hungry each night. We need more talk action about these issues that threaten to ruin the fabric of our society. We need more peaceful dialogue and understanding and that takes a lot of work and patience. 

I celebrate every single moment that I can proudly show affection to my wife without my life or hers being threatened. I celebrate your freedoms as well. May you be happy and at peace. 

Namaste.

(first published on Leaving God; Finding Me blog site, and obviously I gave myself permission to re-post!)

My Mom: The Guru of Motherhood

Happy Mothers’ Day from New York!  I’m quite a few miles away from my mom on this day, but it doesn't keep me from thinking about her and her incredible influence on my life; she (and pop) will have to accept part of the blame for who I am today! She’s a guru of the grandest kind, and she’s lived an exemplary life for all of us to follow, if we dare. She’s been an example to her children and to anyone who is lucky enough to know her. She needed no words; she taught us by her actions.

She taught us to live from our hearts. I’m not sure there’s ever been anything that she’s done halfheartedly. She has lived a life of simple, honest compassion before our very eyes. She has lived what she believes and she connects with those around her through love and understanding.

She taught us to love unconditionally. We've not always agreed on things, and I've made some less than intelligent decisions, but I have never doubted her love or support for me. Far too many children experience their parents’ love as a bargaining chip; not us…ever. Also, the love and acceptance mom and pop have shown my wife has been priceless to me.  My wife is my world and my family, and I’m forever grateful for their love towards her.

She taught us not to fear change. Over the past ten years, I've seen my mom adjust to a helluva lot of change, and she did it all in stride. As challenging and, no doubt painful, as some of those changes have been, she woke up every morning and did what she needed to do. She was never fearful to admit when she was wrong; if she saw something that needed to change, she changed it.

She taught us to enjoy life to the fullest. Mom has a saying: Love God and have a big time! She has always been one to squeeze every bit of enjoyment out of the moment. That passion for life is contagious, and it is with me even though miles apart. One of my fondest memories is awakening to her singing in the kitchen as she prepared for the day.

She taught us to be ourselves and to find what makes us happy. One of the final keys to my coming out was the fact that I knew my parents wanted me to be at peace, be happy, and be me. Ultimately, she wanted us to grow up kind and happy, and she has always supported us in the pursuit of such.

Today, I am happy and fulfilled, and I am grateful for my mom’s support and love. She has instilled in me the strength I need to be the change I wish to see in this world. My wife and I are so grateful to have such a soul in our corner, and we feel her constantly cheering us on.

Peace.

…and to those of who struggle on a day such as today because you have not experienced the mother’s love you deserve; know that if my mom met you, she would hug you and love you like you deserve. Peace to you.

Hashtag #wearebetterthanthis

It's been a long week. My brain is full, work has been hectic, and we had torrential downpours on Tuesday that soaked me to the bone. (Apparently, the 10th rainiest day in New York history) As usual, the highlight of my week is the few short evening hours stolen away with the love I now call home, who is currently up to her eyeballs in papers, projects, and end of semester work of her own. How I treasure those moments!

In a somewhat joking manner this week, I began hashtagging. I say jokingly, because I usually find them quite annoying, but as I read the latest nonsense that escaped Sarah Palin's lips, I said aloud, "we are so much better than this!" After I hashtagged #wearebetterthanthis, I couldn't stop thinking about this fact. We, as United States of Americans (a pet peeve, I'll admit, because you do know we are not the only ones on this continent, right?), and as humans, in general, are so much better than what we often see portrayed in the spotlights.

We can be compassionate. I see small glimpses of it every day, but we've somehow forgotten that we truly are interconnected. Most major religions have some form of The Golden Rule, and I don't think they placed it in their sacred texts as filler text! This bully-ish, spiteful side of Americans that I see at times, makes me incredibly sad; surely we've not become that type of nation.

We can be accepting. I have always loved The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus that is engraved upon our Statue of Liberty. (Give me your tired, your poor....) Our diversity is one of our greatest attributes. I'd rather be a nation that is known for its acceptance of others than to be a nation that is known for its irrational fear of the brown people.

We can be loving. Oddly enough, the thought that came to mind is the greatest of these is love. Loving others, especially those with whom we disagree, can be difficult and it does take work. Let's take the time required to actually get to know people with differing cultures, viewpoints, and religions. It takes a greater strength, as an individual and as a nation, to choose love over fear or hate, the latter being the game of the small-minded.

We all have the capacity for greater things, but it is seriously time for us to grow up. Remember the myriad of things we hold in common and quit focusing solely on our differences. Let's live from the heart of humanity, and see where that takes us for awhile.

Namaste